


I'm Your Summer Girl

by oceans4jinyoung



Category: GOT7
Genre: Cunnilingus, Douchebag Jaebeom, Drinking, F/F, Gay Panic, Genderbending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Internalized Misogyny, Lesbian Sex, Los Angeles, Night of Reckless Fun and Self-Discovery, Perfect Girl Jinnie, Recreational Drug Use, Revenge, Skateboarding, Skater Girl Marci, Smashing a Car Together, Surfing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceans4jinyoung/pseuds/oceans4jinyoung
Summary: Jinnie has spent her whole life living by other people's rules.  So when she unexpectedly crosses paths with the lively and free-spirited Marci, it makes her rethink everything she's been taught about who a woman should be.
Relationships: Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68





	I'm Your Summer Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the **Spotify playlist** for this story.
> 
> [Summer Girl](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68tmf6o0t0SwGojmewM50k?si=nvXDiGwjRHKntlDLbO2PzQ)
> 
> Come yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/oceans4jinyoung) and [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/oceans4jinyoung)!!

“Babe. You’re doing that thing again.”

Jinnie pulled herself from her thoughts. That silent place she had just been dissipated before her eyes as it was replaced with the busy restaurant. It was too loud, too crowded from where she was sandwiched in at the long set of tables that had been joined together. Her and Jaebeom’s family and friends on either side, chattering loudly over each other. So much overlapping noise that it made her head spin.

Jinnie looked up into Jaebeom’s face. Seeing the glassy eyed look in his objectively handsome features. “Sorry,” she gave a half-hearted smile. “I’m here.”

Jaebeom kept looking at her, one of his arms slung around the back of her chair. The blacks of his eyes flickering downward, transfixing on her open lips. And he moved slowly as he reached his hand out, a finger folding under her chin, thumb brushing against her lower lip, and drawing her closer.

Jinnie drew in a breath, feeling a slight smile pull at the corners of her lips as her eyes fluttered shut. Waiting for the press of Jaebeom’s firm mouth against hers. Hoping it would quiet all the white noise in her head.

But it didn’t happen. Instead, all she heard was a scoff in his throat. She opened her eyes, seeing his face twisted up in some version of pungent disgust. “You smudged your lipstick,” he chastised, taking his thumb away and wiping it against the white fabric napkin in his lap, leaving a long red streak against the perfect white and not looking up at her again. “Go fix it. Before dessert comes out.” And he turned away, bursting back into the conversation between his and Jinnie’s fathers.

Jinnie’s face fell, heart sinking in her chest. She carefully pulled her napkin from her lap, folding it back onto the table as she pushed her chair away. Grabbing her clutch and heading for the restroom. 

She leaned over the sink, staring into the mirror as she fixed her lipstick. A bright red that someone once told her to wear to keep her skin from looking so sickly. She couldn’t remember who it was, but the backhanded compliment had stuck. And as she stared at herself, she felt her mind pulling away again. Going back to a few hours ago. To the wide eyed look of her reflection in the mirror of Yugoun’s vanity as the younger girl did her makeup.

“I’m so excited,” Yugoun squealed, waving the eyeshadow brush in her hand. She grabbed a palette from the drawer, flipping it open and looking through the shades. “You’re wearing the white dress right? The sundress?”

“Yeah,” Jinnie said, readjusting the prickly roller against her forehead, trying not to disrupt the soft waves Yugoun had just finished putting in her hair. She looked up at her in the mirror, seeing her ashy blonde ponytail swing as she swirled an eyeshadow brush into a neutral shade. Jinnie’s eyes ghosted down the curve of her long neck, admiring it in the way she sometimes did.

“You’re going to look so beautiful. Close,” Yugoun commanded as she leaned over, starting to carefully brush the pigment across her lid. “Once I finish your hair and makeup? God, my brother is going to fall in love with you all over again. I just know it.”

Jinnie felt the stab of something hit just below her sternum. Thankful that her eyes were closed as not to betray her. “Yugoun,” she huffed, eyebrows drawing together. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s Jaebeom’s party. Not mine.”

Yugoun pulled away, looking down at her. Suddenly losing some of that giddiness and replacing it with uneasiness. “But still, there will be a lot of pictures taken. And-” she froze. “Oh god, tell me your nails are done.” She pulled at Jinnie’s hands, seeing the fresh soft pink manicure she’d gotten with her mother two days prior. She took a deep breath. “Thank god.”

“What is up with you?” Jinnie took her hands back. “I don’t get why you are making this seem so important for me.”

Yugoun’s wide eyes went guilty. “But,” she gulped. “I mean. What if it _is_ important for you?”

“Yugoun,” she said, feeling a rise in her throat that commanded the girl’s full attention. “What are you getting at?”

Yugoun’s face just continued to grow more timid. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything,” she sighed, trying to look away. Busying herself by tucking Jinnie’s hair behind her ear. 

“But?” Jinnie recoiled, untucking the hair and smoothing it over her ear. She grabbed Yugoun’s wrist softly, turning to look up at her. “Come on. You’re practically my sister. I trust you more than anyone.”

Yugoun pursed her lips together, “See, that’s the thing...”

Jinnie’s face went blank, not understanding.

“Jaebeom is… well,” the girl breathed before all the words rushed out. “He’s proposing tonight.”

Jinnie suddenly dropped Yugoun’s wrist, everything in her going slack. She tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come.

“But,” everything in Yugoun’s face shifted, suddenly beaming again. “Just imagine. How great you two are?” she bent down. “Dr. and Mrs. Lim! And your kids. I mean, they are going to be the smartest, prettiest, most perfect babies,” she sighed, dreamily, before leaning in, hugging her close. “I just can’t wait for you to be my real unnie,” she pressed their faces close together in the mirror. “Isn’t that amazing? Aren’t you excited?”

Jinnie just stared back at her own reflection. Feeling everything in her give out. “Amazing.”

Yugoun’s face fell in the reflection. Her eyes going guilty again, “You’re mad I told you.” 

“No,” Jinnie shook her head. “No, Yugoun. I’m really glad you told me.”

Now, staring in the restaurant’s bathroom mirror, trying to reapply that red lipstick, she wasn’t so sure. She felt the quiver of her hands. Yugoun’s words repeating. _“He’s proposing tonight.”_ And suddenly something in her seized up, dropping the tube of lipstick into the sink. The metal clattered against the porcelain, leaving messy red streaks. “Shit,” Jinnie exhaled, running the water and trying to clean it up.

But as she scrubbed away at those red lines, she only got more and more worked up. Feeling like her lungs were collapsing in on her. And she kept trying to take breaths but everything felt so shallow and futile. She put her hand to her chest, feeling her racing heart pain. She looked up into the mirror, her own image feeling distant and disconnected from herself. Her perfectly done hair. Her skin made flawless by the sticky film of foundation. Her fitted white dress. Too close. Too close to a wedding- _“Dr. and Mrs. Lim.”_ She felt the shake of her knees. She stuffed her lipstick back down into her bag, heading for the door. 

But she didn’t stop back at the table, she just kept going, nearly running in the pair of heels she was wearing. The ones that had been killing her feet all night though she had winced through the pain. She rushed out the restaurant doors and past the empty valet booth, staggering to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk. Feeling herself succumb to the panic as she slumped down onto the curb. Her chest still trying so hard to breath but the relief wouldn’t come. All that came were the tears down her cheeks. Each silent sob in her chest being dragged out against her will. So she clutched her arms tight around her frame, trying to squeeze herself hard enough to stop.

“Are you okay?”

She looked up, through the blurry film of tears in her eyes, collecting on her lashes. And looking down at her was a girl. Messy bleach blonde hair that was cropped above her shoulders. Oversized graphic t-shirt with the raw edge of denim shorts peeking out the bottom against her smooth thighs. White socks pulled up her ankles leading into beat up pink checkered Vans. Behind the girl’s back, her fingers clutched around a pink and blue longboard. Looking like some picture of summer that Jinnie hadn’t ever seen before. Like the very sight of her made the air around her feel warmer.

“Are you okay?” she repeated, eyes wide with concern.

Jinnie snapped back into the moment. “Yeah,” she started to tap at the corners of her eyes, trying not to mess up the makeup Yugoun worked so hard on. “Oh my god,” she sniffed. “I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

The blonde girl’s brows furrowed together, “Why’s it embarrassing?”

Jinnie sniffed again, trying to hide her face. “My dad always told me to never cry in front of anyone,” she shrugged. “He said I look ugly when I cry.”

The blonde squatted down in front of her, putting her longboard across her knees and freeing her hands. “Well, stop crying and I’ll be the judge of that,” she reached out to Jinnie’s face, pulling her hands away and replacing them with her own.

Jinnie stopped, feeling the soft heat of her hands against her skin. Staring back at her with wide eyes. Fully conscious of the fact that this stranger was holding her face in a way that felt too intimate. But also a bit natural, soothing.

The girl’s thumbs softly brushed at the remaining trails on her cheeks. “I don’t know,” she shrugged with a laugh stitched between her sharp, white smile. “I think you’re pretty stunning either way.”

Jinnie felt the flush of heat in her own face rival the warmth of the blonde’s hands. Her head going abnormally quiet for a long moment.

“I’m Marci,” the girl pulled her hands away. “What’s your name?”

She swallowed. “Jinnie.”

“So, Jinnie,” Marci took her longboard off her knees, sliding it underneath her and falling back onto it. “Why are you out here?” she asked. “Wait. Let me guess,” she raised her hands. She thought for a moment, snapping her fingers, “Bad first date. Your mom set you up with her co-worker's kid. Or no. A catfish!”

Jinnie shook her head, feeling the residual dull ache of her eyes. “Worse.”

“Worse?” Marci leaned back on her palms, stumped.

Jinnie couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with a perfect stranger. A conversation she hadn’t had with anyone. She pursed her lips. “Cheating fiance.”

Marci’s eyes went wide. “Fiance?”

“Well, I guess not yet,” she sighed. “He just became a doctor. Our families are throwing him a big party,” she beckoned behind her to the restaurant. “But he’s been cheating for god knows how long. With some nurse at his residency. And a girl from his gym. And his best friend’s girlfriend.”

Marci gasped. “That motherfucker,” she muttered under her breath as her eyes narrowed.

“But his little sister told me he’s proposing tonight,” Jinnie’s hands went to her temples, suddenly feeling a bit light-headed.

“You-,” Marci stared at her. She shook her head. “You can’t accept that.”

Jinnie shrugged. “I don’t have another choice,” she averted her eyes to the asphalt. “We’ve been together forever. This is everything our parents want for us.”

“So,” Marci argued. “Your parents will be dead one day.”

Jinnie looked up at her, glaring.

“Sorry,” she shrugged. “But it’s true. Why should they get what they want? It’s your life.”

Jinnie shook her head, “It’s not that-”

“Ugh. Jinnie. Baby,” Marci groaned.

And Jinnie felt that flush of warmth in her cheeks come back as if Marci’s hands were still there.

“Don’t give me that,” the girl smirked, flipping her hair to one side without a care. “You know it’s simple.”

Jinnie studied the stranger’s smirk. The way it went brightened her lively eyes. And there was something that felt so achingly open about this Marci girl. Hell, maybe that’s why Jinnie had suddenly spewed her biggest secret so easily. And the reaction the girl was giving was so far from what she knew anyone around her would say if she told them. She knew that they would say the same thing they always did when her and Jaebeom ever had a problem. _“He’s a good guy, Jin. You’re lucky to have someone so secure. He’ll make you comfortable for a long time. Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not like he hurts you or anything.”_ And yet… Marci was sitting there, like summer coming early, saying the opposite.

Jinnie stood, wobbling slightly on her heels. “I should just go back in there,” she said, pulling her dress down her thighs. “I should just go put on a brave face and accept.” She turned, marching back up the curb.

She felt a warm hand closing around her wrist. She looked back. Seeing that smirk on Marci’s face now a full smile. Beaming and bright under the streetlights.

“I have a better idea,” she said.

Jinnie looked at the girl’s hand secured around her wrist. Feeling the warmth of her touch radiate up her arm, settling every frayed nerve. Grounding her. And Jinnie couldn’t explain the way that everything seemed to fall away. The panic in her chest, the commotion of the restaurant, the impending doom of Jaebeom’s proposal. But alas, it all quieted to nothing. She looked up into Marci’s face. Her pretty smile making her own lips tug upwards, unconsciously.

And Marci must have taken it as a sign. Because she just pulled Jinnie’s wrist a little more. Beckoning her head towards the parking lot, “Follow me.”

Jinnie did, following closely behind the girl as she weaved through the cars of the parking lot.

“He drove you here tonight?” Marci called over her shoulder as she approached a bright red Jeep. It was vintage. Probably nineties. With the windows taken off. The backside of it covered in surf and skate stickers. On top, a shortboard was secured with bungee cord. Marci leaned over into the backseat, legs kicking up as she tried to scrounge around for something.

“Yeah,” Jinnie fumbled with the clutch in her hands. “His parents just got him a Tesla for graduation. He was pretty eager to show it off.”

“God,” Marci straightened up, her hand gripped around the handle of a softball bat. “Could he be a more cliche spoiled rich boy?”

Jinnie shrugged, unable to confirm. She looked into Marci’s hands, watching the girl flip the bat over her fingers. “What’s that for?” she asked.

Marci looked over Jinnie’s shoulder, “Oh, that Tesla?” She crossed the parking lot to a spot in the front where Jaebeom’s car sat. Shiny and new, still with the tags from the dealership.

“Yeah,” Jinnie followed up behind her. “That would be it.”

Marci turned to face her. Getting close enough for her free hand to curl underneath her chin.

And Jinnie was surprised when she didn’t feel herself pull away. That warmth in Marci’s hands still radiating against her skin. And her mind became a straight line, remembering how only a little while ago, it had been Jaebeom doing the same thing with a look of disgust in his eyes.

But Marci didn’t have that same look. No, her eyes just sparkled, lower lip pouting out so full that Jinnie wondered how it would look with a touch of lipstick. Maybe a soft pink. Or a deep red. She’d look so pretty in red.

Marci raised up her chin a little higher. Staring at her mouth, studying it. “Do you have this red lipstick on you?”

Jinnie felt the little tightness curl in her stomach. “Why?” she asked, hand going up to her mouth. “Did I mess it up?”

Marci shook her head. “Of course not,” she laughed. “Just let me see it.”

Jinnie didn’t understand what she needed it for but nevertheless unzipped her clutch, handing it over.

Marci plucked it from her fingers, turning back toward the car as she uncapped it, twisting it up. She reached forward, putting an X onto the side mirror, bending down and putting another alongside the car door, getting back up to put another on the tail light.

Jinnie started to feel that shortness of breath come back as she watched Marci add a few more. “What are you-” she stammered, rushing forward. “What are those for?”

Marci pulled back, twisting the lipstick back down and capping it before handing it back. Then she pulled the bat from underneath her arm. “Aim for them,” she beckoned.

Jinnie’s eyelashes batted, not believing what she was hearing. She looked down to the bat. And back to the car. Her mouth falling open when she turned to Marci. “Are you insane?”

She scoffed, “No. _He’s_ insane for cheating. I mean. Can you believe? The audacity of a straight man. I swear to-”

“I can’t do this,” Jinnie said, putting her hands up. Backing away slowly on those unsteady heels.

Marci reached out, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tight. Her long fingers feeling like they’d leave a mark. “Come on,” she pleaded. “I know you can do this.”

Jinnie’s face twisted in disbelief. She looked down to Marci’s hand around hers, still not feeling the desire to pull away even if her heart was racing alive in her chest. Or maybe because of it. “You…” she spoke quietly into the night air. “You don’t know me.”

Marci smiled. “I don’t have to,” she shook her head. “You’re a woman. And therefore, you’re stronger than any asshole with a white coat and a penchant for infidelity. And you should own that, Jinnie.”

Jinnie sighed, feeling Marci’s argument seeping into her. The thrill of the idea leaving her too curious about what it would feel like to smash that car. She shook her head, pulling away, “No. I can’t vandalize a car. I’ve never done anything wrong. I-I’ve never even smoked weed.”

Marci’s eyes widened. As if smashing cars for revenge was an everyday thing, yet someone who had never smoked was an anomaly. “Wow,” she blinked. “Okay, well. We can fix that later,” she nodded. “But for now,” she held the bat out again. “Start swinging, princess.”

Jinnie looked at it being extended towards her. She took it, arm falling with the surprising weight of it. She lifted it up to her shoulder, fingers gripping around it experimentally. Unlike anything else she had held before. Something about it automatically making her confidence shoot up. 

“How's it feel?”

Jinnie tested the way it swung, the satisfying zip of it cutting through the air. Her heart racing a little stronger. She nodded. “Good.”

Marci backed away, clapping her hands. “Go, Jinnie! You got this!”

She faced the car, looking at the X’s that Marci had drawn in that bright red lipstick. Standing out so stark against the black paint. She stepped closer, seeing the one in the side mirror. Seeing bits of herself through it. And she heard Jaebeom’s words in her ear. What he said the only time she bothered to try to confront him.

_“Jaebeom.”_

_“Stop being delusional.”_

_“I’m not-”_

_“God. Pretty girl Jinnie must be so bored to come up with this shit.”_

And it made something in her sink, just like it had then. But instead of burying it deep like she did then, she let it grow. Like wildfire through her. Feeling the anger build and build until she was raising that bat up and bringing it down onto the car mirror. Hearing the glass shatter and the plastic screech and crack when it fell, hanging on by only a few wires.

“Yeah!” Marci cheered from behind her. 

Jinnie breathed, feeling herself smile. She thought of her dad. His deep authoritarian voice booming in her mind.

_“Why are you always reading? You know boys don’t like a girl who pretends to be smarter than them.”_

She raised the bat again, letting it come down onto the back windshield. Shattering the glass and making the car alarm start to sound.

Marci clapped, “Perfect execution!” 

She thought of her mother’s voice. 

_“You won’t be young and beautiful forever. Best get your mileage before the world tosses you aside.”_

She smashed the tail light out with a single swing.

Jinnie smiled, blowing the hair from her face. Admiring her work. And when she tried to breathe, she didn’t feel that choking feeling anymore. Each rise of his chest feeling unencumbered. Weightless.

“Uh oh,” Marci said.

“What?” Jinnie looked back to her. Seeing the way her eyes were widening at the restaurant. Jinnie’s eyes followed, seeing the press of her and Jaebeom’s family members against the window, their eyes wide and mouths gaping in shock.

Jinnie felt a sudden kick in her beating chest. She looked back to Marci. Hands shaking around the bat now. Voice coming out panicked, “Marci?”

Marci sighed. “You’re not going to like this part.”

Jinnie blinked, “What part?”

“The part where we run,” Marci rushed forward, grabbing her hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

\---

Jinnie had never ridden with the top down on a car before. More out of habit as her mother always admonished against it, saying she would mess up her hair. Which is probably why even instinctually she held her hair at the base of her neck with one hand as Marci and her sped down the highway in the red Jeep.

“Ow, ow, ow,” she panted under her breath as she used her other hand to unstrap the heels from around her ankles and toss them to the floor of the passenger seat. She raised up her foot, seeing the bloodied skin that the tiny straps had left at the back of her heel, across the bridge, on the outside of her pinky toe. She didn’t make a fuss though, instead just suffering in silence before looking up out the window as the road rushed by. She could recognize that they were heading south on the 405, leaving the early summer heat of the Valley in the rearview in favor of cooler ocean breezes, but outside of that, she was lost.

She looked over to Marci. Watching how the wind whipped her blonde hair with little care. The streetlights overhead passing over her face, shifting her sharp features. High cheekbones and pointed chin. Long neck that curved elegantly into the collar of her t-shirt. And Jinnie’s eyes drifted down to fixate on her long fingers as they tapped against the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing loud over the speakers. Some kind of 90’s funk rock. And Jinnie felt her cheeks suddenly go warm at the memory of them against her face. 

She swallowed, pulling herself from her thoughts. “Where are we going?” she yelled over the whipping of wind.

Marci looked over, her mouth stretching into a smirk. “Gas station.”

“Why?” Jinnie asked, trying to tuck a piece of loose hair back into her hand.

Marci shrugged, “Gotta get supplies.”

“Supplies?”

“To mend a broken heart,” she smirked.

Jinnie huffed, “You sound experienced.”

Marci didn’t respond, just kept smirking as she turned into the gas station. The neon sign buzzed in the night. She pulled up to the pump, getting out and starting to fill up her tank. “I’ll be back,” she said.

Jinnie looked up in the rearview mirror, watching as she went into the gas station, waving and making small talk with the attendant. And when she fell out of sight, Jinnie took a breath, looking at the car around her. Trying to find anything that could help her piece together this person she had recklessly decided to run away with. She started rummaging around the center console, finding a few beach parking passes, a fast food wrapper, some hair ties. Considering if Marcie’s hair was even long enough to tie back. Maybe she got a haircut recently.

She opened up the glovebox. Pulling out a small black glass jar. She shook it, not hearing much rattling before she unscrewed it. She peered inside, immediately getting a strong whiff at its contents. “Damn,” she blinked at the strong smell of weed. She recapped it, shaking the scent out of her nose as she put it back. She pulled out a GoPro secured to some kind of mount. Assuming maybe it was for her longboard? Surfboard? She shrugged, putting it back. 

She continued to rummage around feeling like she hadn’t learned much more before her fingers touched something soft towards the back. She pulled it, feeling the elastic give of the material caught up on the edge of the Jeep’s car manual. She tugged a little harder, until it snapped towards her. She held it up. It was a pair of bright purple lace underwear. 

“What are-” Jinnie murmured, stretching them out and seeing the rhinestone jewels across the front. _Babygirl._ “Ew,” she remarked. “Why would she-” before she stopped, thinking that she didn’t know Marci but based on first impressions, these didn’t really seem like her style.

Distantly, she heard Marci’s voice. “See ya later, Rex!”

Jinnie looked up in the mirror, seeing the girl coming out of the gas station. She looked back to that underwear between her fingers, panicking. She rushed to stuff them back into the glovebox, trying to slam it shut but it wouldn’t close now, something in it misaligned from Jinnie’s rummaging. “Shit,” she hissed, trying to keep slamming it but it was no use. She pulled out those underwear again, casting them out the passenger window before resealing the glovebox. She hurried to lean her elbow against the door, trying to act natural. 

Marci opened the door, climbing in. In either hand, a blue and pink slushie, while a plastic bag hung on her arm. “Pink lemonade or blue raspberry,” she said, holding them out.

Jinnie blinked down at them, eyes shifting between them. “Blue raspberry.”

Marci smiled, putting the pink one in the cup holder and extending out the blue. 

Jinnie took it, bringing the straw to her lips hesitantly.

“Ah ah ah,” Marci stopped her. She dove into the plastic bag in her lap, pulling out a tiny vodka bottle. She uncapped it, reaching over and pouring the contents into Jinnie’s drink.

Jinnie glared at her.

“Don’t look at me like that. It will help,” she shrugged.

Jinnie looked down to Marci’s drink. “And what about yours?”

She scoffed, “I’m driving, silly.”

Jinnie felt herself growing suspicious, thinking to those underwear that were now somewhere on the asphalt under the Jeep. She looked down into her drink, “How do I know you’re not going to drug me and sell me into sex slavery?”

Marci laughed at this, bright and loud like it was the funniest joke she’d ever heard. “Have you seen yourself?” she smiled at her. Eyes sparkling. “I wouldn’t sell you. I’d keep you for myself.” 

And looking at her bright smile and hearing her words and thinking of the softball bat, the hair ties, the underwear, something in Jinnie clicked. “Oh, you’re gay.” 

Marci huffed, looking through the plastic bag again. “Astute observation. Now give me your feet.” 

Jinnie’s face drew up in shock, “My what?” 

“Your feet,” Marci called, extending a grabby hand out.

Jinnie’s stomach turned, “Look. I don’t know what girls like you are into but-” 

Marci rolled her eyes before reaching forward and grabbing one of Jinnie’s feet. She dragged it into her lap, pulling a box of bandaids from the bag. 

Jinnie watched her unpeel a bandage and then carefully start dressing each of the blisters on her foot. Placing a bandage at the back of her heel, in between her pink painted toes, over the bridge of her foot, switching her feet carefully. And Jinnie watched in curious silence, feeling how soft and gentle her hands were as they worked. And she couldn’t explain why her first thought was how Jaebeom’s hands were so rough and clumsy and big. How they never felt like this. 

“What size are you?” Marci said, smoothing the last bandage down with her fingers.

“What?” 

Marci smiled. “Shoe size.” 

“Oh,” Jinnie blinked. “Seven.” 

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Marci reached into the back of the Jeep, pulling out a pair of checkered baby blue Vans. “Here,” she said, plopping them into her lap. “You’ll be more comfortable in these.” 

Jinnie was still for a moment, hesitating before she started to slide them onto her feet. Feeling the way the blisters didn’t rub anymore. “Where are you taking me?”

Marci scoffed. “Stop making it sound like I’m kidnapping you,” she said. “You did choose to run with me, you know?”

Jinnie sank into her seat. “I can’t believe I did that,” she deadened. “My parents are going to kill me.”

“It’s not worry time, it’s fun time,” Marci beckoned to the slurpee in Jinnie’s hand. “Everytime you worry, take a sip.”

Jinnie put the straw to her mouth, taking a sip and tasting how the syrupy sweet blue flavor hid the astringent bite of the vodka. “Mm,” she hummed, pleased and taking another sip.

“Now,” Marci turned her keys in the ignition, engine roaring alive. “Onwards.”

\---

The slurpee must have been working because Jinnie was feeling the subtle spin of the alcohol hitting her as Marci turned into the mall. Scrunching her brows together because she knew for a fact that it would be closed at this hour. Marci turned into the parking garage, hitting the gas as she raced through the empty lot, ascending up the ramps. Jinnie grabbed the window sill on a particularly sharp turn, her eyes instinctively snapping shut and her stomach flipping. Thinking, maybe this is how it all ends. In some lesbian’s overturned Jeep. God, she hoped her mom didn’t put her in that pink lace dress for the wake. The one she made her wear to meet Jaebeom’s grandparents. She hated that thing.

But when the Jeep came to a stop and she opened her eyes, she didn’t see pearly gates but instead, the top level of the mall parking garage. All the other cars had cleared out for the night. The tall street lamps overhead buzzed as, beyond them, the night sky hovered close and soft gray from the haze of light pollution.

“Come on,” Marci said, unbuckling her seat belt and grabbing her drink from the cupholder.

Jinnie took another sip, watching her get out of the car before hesitantly following, meeting her at the concrete edge, looking over. Seeing how the lights of the city reflected back so warm and sparkling like something familiar. “Why did you bring me here?” Jinnie asked, looking beside her.

Marci’s arms were folded over the ledge, her chin tucked between them. “I just like it,” she said. “This is where I come when all that,” she waved her hand over the lights. “Seems a little too big. Because from here, it looks pretty small, right?”

Jinnie looked over the gleaming lights, feeling a flutter in her stomach that she wasn’t sure she could attribute to the vodka. “Yeah,” she breathed, relaxed.

“What does it make you think of?”

Jinnie stared, watching those warm, glinting lights and trying to place why they felt so familiar. Remembering the stitch of laughter that Marci had hidden behind her teeth, the sparkle of her eyes, the warmth of her hands. But the rush under her skin at the thought made her feel eager to bury it. Rushing to something benign instead. “Makes me wonder if I can see my work from here.”

Marci huffed, looking over. “Where do you work?”

Jinnie shrugged, “My future mother-in-law’s boutique in Larchmont. Just you know. Retail.”

“ _Ex_ -future mother-in-law,” Marci corrected.

“Oh,” Jinnie bit down on her straw, taking a generous sip. “Right.” 

Marci’s eyes were on her. Quiet for a moment before she spoke. “How did it feel? To smash that car?”

Jinnie was pensive for a long moment. Part of her wanting to resist, wanting to smother whatever was on the tip of her tongue. But just the sound of Marci’s voice was aching with openness in a way that had Jinnie speaking too honestly again. “Like it wasn’t even me doing it.”

“Why not?”

Her eyes defocused enough to make the lights bokeh. “I don’t get mad like that,” she shook her head. “I’ve never been mad in my whole life.”

Marci adjusted herself against the ledge, leaning an elbow against it and turning towards her. Like she was the most curious thing in the world. “Why not?” she asked, voice so crisp and close in the night air.

Jinnie looked at her. Her dark intent eyes. Pushing for an answer. “It wouldn’t have gone over well where I’m from.”

“What do you mean?”

And perhaps she should have waved her off, this stranger who she didn’t even know. But the subtle spin and the feeling of Marci’s eyes pinning her down didn’t feel scary, the way it maybe should have. Instead it grounded Jinnie, quieting her mind until the things that usually felt as congested as the valley air only felt distant like the skyline in front of them. She licked her lips, feeling the coolness of her tongue from her drink. “I’m the only daughter in an immigrant family. My parents brought us here when I was in elementary school. Growing up, there were a lot of expectations. About how a girl should act. Dress. Think,” she looked back to the view. “And even now, it’s just easier to just keep quiet and go along with everything.”

She could feel the way Marci’s eyes didn’t let up, if anything they pushed harder. “Is it though?”

Jinnie looked back. Suddenly feeling a hint of apprehension.

The corner of Marci’s mouth flicked upward, streetlight casting the shadow of that full lower lip onto her chin. “You _did_ smash the car. I saw it with my own two eyes,” she offered. “But who knows? Maybe it was just a you that you haven’t met yet.” She turned back, sipping on her slurpee.

And Jinnie kept gnawing on her straw, feeling some flicker of uncertainty gnawing back at her. Yet no matter how long the silence drew out, Marci just seemed to bask in it. Comfortable and cool and still wearing that content little smirk as the city lights reflected in the sparkling blacks of her eyes.

“Who are you?” Jinnie asked.

“What do you mean?” she looked at her, eyes going wide. “I’m Marci.”

“I know that much.”

The girl shrugged, “What do you want to know?”

Jinnie took another sip, thinking. “Where are you from?”

“Born and raised here,” she said, pulling up the sleeve of her t-shirt to reveal a tattoo above the crux of her arm. A black L-A etched into the skin.

Jinnie took it with a glance, fighting the urge to trace the shape of it with her finger. “Where do you work?”

“At a skate and surf shop,” she shrugged. “Just off the Venice boardwalk.”

Jinnie nearly rolled her eyes, because of course she did. “What else do you do?”

Marci laughed, “You need to be more specific than that, Jinnie.”

“I don’t know. Your ideal day off.”

“I’m having it,” Marci smiled. “Long-boarding in the Valley, looking for cute, straight girls to pick up. And you, Miss San Fernando 2020, end up in my Jeep.” She winked.

Jinnie felt a buzz under her skin, akin to that buzzing of the streetlamps overhead. She narrowed her eyes, “You prey exclusively on straight Valley girls then?”

“No,” Marci shook her head. She leaned in, voice turning to a whisper. “But you all make it so easy.” She pouted her pink stained lips. “You’ll do anything to make your daddies cry.” 

Jinnie could smell the pink lemonade on her breath. Sweet and sour. Wondering if the sudden flush against her own cheeks was the same shade. She stood her ground. “You’re lying.”

Marci licked her lips. “Am I?”

Jinnie tracked the movement, pink tongue and pink lips. Smelling so sweet. Maybe she should have chosen that flavor. Maybe she still could. She shook the thought from her head. “I suppose it doesn’t matter if you are.”

Marci laughed, bright and loud. “I don’t know about that,” she leaned back, farther than she just was but still closer than she’d been. “Seemed like you were about to fall for it.”

Jinnie didn’t know what constituted ‘falling for it’. What would falling even entail? “Think again,” she said, taking a sip. “Come on. What do you really do? Tell me.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I volunteer sometimes. Teaching young girls to skate.”

“Why skating? Don’t they have better things to do?”

“ _Why skating?_ ” Marci’s eyes went wide in disbelief. “Why not skating?” She watched the way Jinnie’s face screwed in confusion, rolling her eyes and growing more serious. “Just picture it. You’re standing at the edge of a bowl, about to drop in, knowing you have a fifty-fifty shot of falling face first or flying.” She smiled. “And you willingly take the risk anyway. Do you know how much confidence that gives a girl? In a world like this where they only want to keep us pretty and quiet and-”

And she must have seen the way Jinnie’s face fell. She stopped herself. Drawing away a little.

“Not just you, Jinnie,” she said softer, apologetic. “All of us.” 

Jinnie put her chin on the ledge, thinking. Trying to remember the last time she was on the edge of any risk. And the truth was that Jinnie had never been a risk-taker. A fact that her family and friends and Jaebeom teased her about on multiple occasions. Leading her to assume that the only thing she was really great at was doing what she was told.

“Where are you off to?” Marci asked, voice hushed.

Jinnie looked to the side, seeing Marci’s face close. Eyes bright with curiosity. “Sorry,” she rushed to say, viciously pulling herself from her trance. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Marci shrugged. “I was just asking.”

“No,” Jinnie looked away, nervous. “I do this weird thing where I check out when I’m thinking about something. Everyone I know hates it.” She looked back up to Marci.

The girl was staring at her. Some sort of pensiveness crossing her features as well. She shook her head. “I don’t mind.”

Jinnie looked back at her, mind going slack again. “You don’t?”

Marci leaned closer, craning her head to whisper in Jinnie’s ear. “You look like you’re on the verge of a breakthrough.”

Jinnie felt the heat of her breath on her ear, wondering how exactly it managed to travel all the way down her neck. She huffed. “Or a breakdown. I’m not sure I can tell the difference,” she went to take another sip, but only got the last noisy dregs at the bottom of the cup.

“Wanna try something?”

“Depends,” she bit her lip. “What do you have in mind?”

Despite her protests, Jinnie’s baby blue Vans were soon propped up on Marci’s longboard. Her knees shaking as Marci held her hands, pulling her along. 

“Don’t be so stiff,” Marci giggled. “I got you.”

Jinnie felt the blush on her cheeks, eyes glued to her feet as she wobbled on the board. Feeling the ground under her moving. Everything like jelly. But her hands. Her hands in Marci’s felt so warm and soft and safe. “There’s no way I’m coordinated enough to do this,” she winced. “Especially after that slurpee.”

Marci laughed, “That’s what all the girls say.”

And that pleasant feeling turned south. Clouding her mind with reckless thoughts until she was zoning out, forgetting entirely about what her body was doing.

“See. You’re doing it!” Marci cheered.

Jinnie came back into the moment. The rush of awareness causing her to wobble a little too far back, compensating by going forward, completely losing her balance in their process. And with her hands in Marci’s, she had no other direction to fall but forwards, toppling over the girl as they both hit the parking lot asphalt.

It was too fast for Jinnie to notice the way her and Marci’s hands sandwiched between their chests. And wow, the girl’s chest was small, but so soft. She must have been wearing a sports bra under her t-shirt. But the small flicker of Jinnie’s imagination fizzled out when the world kicked back into motion. “Oh my god,” she gasped. “I’m so sorry.” And she tried to pull her hands away, bracing herself over the blonde.

But Marci’s small chest just shook with laughter, not a lick of panic in it. Smile so bright as she reached up, sweeping the curtain of Jinnie’s hair over the back of her shoulder. “It’s okay,” she soothed. “I said I got you, didn’t I?”

Jinnie’s head went eerily quiet again. More like short-circuiting than anything else. She pulled away, sitting back on her haunches. She looked down at gravel embedded in her hands.

But as soon as she did, Marci’s hands were there. Sitting up and holding her wrists as she brushed away the grit of the asphalt. 

Jinnie hissed a little, watching it clear. She looked up at her. “Do you-” she hesitated. “Do you really teach all the girls you pick up to skate like this?”

Marci’s eyes held the question for a moment, sharp canines poking through her smiles, before she burst out into another bright peal of laughter.

Jinnie’s shoulders sank. “Don’t laugh,” she drew her hands away. “It was just a question.”

“Sorry. It’s just-” she was caught up on another choking laugh before she settled. “I meant the girls I volunteer with.”

“Oh,” Jinnie shrank, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. That was dumb.”

Marci shook her head, coughing out the last of her laugh. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Why?”

The girl shrugged, leaning back onto her hands. “You must think I’m pretty if you think I get so many girls.”

Jinnie rolled her eyes. “Okay. That’s a bit of a leap.”

“So, you don’t think I’m pretty?” Marci tilted her head, pouting her pink lemonade lips.

Jinnie’s eyes went down to them, mouth wishing she still had that straw to bite down on. She shook her head, “I don’t really think about girls like that.”

“Now you’re lying.”

Jinnie looked back up, seeing the sudden fierceness of her eyes.

Marci wrapped her arms around her knees. “A woman’s whole existence in this society is built around being an object. Some pretty thing to be put on a tall shelf and admired. And therefore, every single one of us is subconsciously taught to admire them in that way, judge them by their looks before anything else. Regardless of if you want to fuck them.” She paused, lips spreading into a smirk. “Though I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you did.”

Jinnie stared at her. Unable to form words. Praying the streetlights were warm enough to hide the flush she could feel burning at her cheeks. But luckily, before the silence stretched on too long, a ringtone rang in the distance.

“That’s my phone,” Jinnie said, getting up off the concrete, fixing her dress and going to the car. She grabbed her clutch out of the passenger seat, zipping it open and looking to see Jaebeom’s picture across the screen.

“Who is it?” Marci called.

“The fiance,” Jinnie said, before rushing to correct herself. “I mean, Ex-fiance. I mean-,” she sighed. “Who knows anymore.”

“I know,” Marci said, rushing up behind her suddenly, plucking the phone from her hand. She took off, dashing across the parking lot.

“Hey,” Jinnie glared up at her.

Marci turned back towards her, grinning as she swiped open the phone, holding it to her ear as she skipped backwards. 

“ _Jinnie. Fuck. That’s so good_ ,” she moaned into the receiver.

Jinnie felt that flush douse her, hot and pouring down her back and shoulders. Marci’s voice echoing in her head like a song she knew she’d be humming for days. “Stop it,” she gritted out, sprinting after her.

Marci’s feet just sped up, “ _God, you taste so good, Jinnie._ ”

Hot breaths seethed out of her lungs, burning like ash. Less from the running and more from something else. She caught up to Marci, yanking the phone back and looking to the screen just as the call ended. “He hung up,” she gasped. Her wide eyes looking up at Marci.

The girl was nearly folded in half, hands bracing against her knees as she cracked up. Throwing her bleach blonde hair back and clutching at her stomach. Letting her raucous laughter bounce off the concrete.

Jinnie’s brows downturned, grimacing. “That wasn’t funny.”

Marci looked up at her, wiping the tear from her eye. “Are you mad, Miss _‘I’ve never been mad in my whole life’_?” Her voice going up when she sing-songed it.

Jinnie’s hands went to fists at her side. “Yes!”

“And how’s it feel?”

 _Good._

Jinnie didn’t say the word. She didn’t want to give Marci the satisfaction of hearing it. She just turned on her heel, walking off towards the car.

And it took a moment to hear Marci’s sneakers follow in her trail. None of that laughter in her voice anymore. Only the soft, plead of concern. “Where are you going?”

Jinnie didn’t stop. “My turn to pick a place,” she called. She looked over her shoulder. “Are you coming or what?”

And Marci just smiled before chasing after her.

\---

Jinnie made Marci stop and grab a loaf of Wonderbread from a gas station. A little while later they were pulled up to the edge of Lake Balboa, sitting atop a Mexican blanket that was stretched out over the hood of the Jeep. Jinnie's Vans were propped up on the front bumper, tearing off little pieces of bread and pitching them into the water for the ducks who darted to chase them. Creating shiny little V’s in the placid lake’s surface that Jinnie loved to watch shimmer to nothing under the low moonlight.

Marci was leaned back against the windshield. And Jinnie could hear the sound of her licking the edge of a swisher paper.

Jinnie looked back, watching her pretty, long fingers fold it down diligently. Bringing it up to her eyes to inspect it.

“Perfect,” she smiled, twirling it once between her fingers before putting the end of it between her lips. She drew the lighter from her lap and lit it, chest rising as she drew in a drag. 

Jinnie watched her perfectly posed hands, long, straight fingers and narrow wrists and almond shaped nails. Thinking about the way they’d wiped her tears away when she sat on the curb at the restaurant. Or held her hands when she stood on the longboard. Or brushed her hair away when they had fallen. Her eyes went down, watching the way the girl’s chest filled. Mirroring it with her own intake of breath. “Are we really doing this?”

Marci blew out a stream of dense smoke. She shrugged, “You don’t have to.”

Jinnie knew she didn’t have to. She’d never had the faintest interest in marijuana. The only real memory she had of it was when Jaebeom got offered a bong at a party they were at when he was in undergrad. She instantly felt a little nauseous, remembering the way he got so loopy and rude, grabbing her wrist to force her into his lap. Putting his hands up her thighs in front of everyone. She felt her skin crawl.

“Fuck it,” Jinnie sighed, reaching out and plucking the blunt from Marci’s hands before she could get another hit. She brought it to her lips, inhaling too deep, too fast before sputtering. Coughing and covering her mouth.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Marci reached forward, pulling her hand away and taking the blunt back. She rubbed Jinnie’s back with her free hand.

And Jinnie could feel the touch against her bare skin, somehow quelling the dry itch of her throat. As if her mind was suddenly occupied with something else. She looked back at her.

“Slow down,” Marci smiled. “Don’t be so eager.” She put the blunt between her lips again. “Just,” she breathed in lightly. She breathed it out. “Easy. Okay?” She offered it back.

Jinnie licked her lips, taking it again and holding the tip up to her mouth. She breathed in lightly this time, tasting the pleasant herbal flavor. The tang of sweetness to it. She breathed out, seeing the trail of smoke that followed. “Easy.” She looked back over to Marci, seeing the stretch of her white smile. Feeling a little self-conscious under it. “What?” she offered back the blunt.

Marci didn’t answer, taking it. Her eyes still trained on Jinnie. “Why did you bring me here?”

She shrunk a little under her strong gaze. “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I guess I just like it here. When my mom would get sick of me, she’d buy me a loaf of bread and let me come here. She'd sit at a bench and talk on the phone with her friends back home. Gossiping and what not. And I’d feed the ducks. And it wasn’t perfect, but it was quiet and it was nice and it was better than nothing.”

“Wow,” Marci huffed between hits. “That fucking blows, Jinx.”

Jinnie’s face drew up. “Jinx?” 

“It's a nickname. I’m trying it out.”

“I don’t like it.”

Marci smiled. “You will.”

Jinnie’s retort died on her tongue. She took the blunt back, took another slow drag. Feeling the smoke ruminate inside her. Feeling Marci’s eyes on her. Not knowing which was making her feel a little dazed.

Marci reached up, long fingers tucking Jinnie’s hair behind her ear.

“Stop,” Jinnie dodged away, too quickly. Fixing the hair over her ear again. “I hate it when people do that.”

“What?” Marci’s brows creased together. “Why?”

Jinnie passed the blunt back. “I don’t like my ears.”

Marci took it, staring at her. Like she was trying to decode her. “What’s wrong with them?”

Jinnie’s hands went up curling over where her ears lay under her soft waves. “They are just… big.”

The corner of Marci’s mouth pulled up. “Big ears are-”

“Don’t say cute,” Jinnie stopped her. “Honestly, that’s even worse.”

“I wasn’t going to say cute,” Marci shook her head, leaning back against the windshield again.

Jinnie watched her take another drag. “What were you going to say?”

Marci raised her eyebrow, “I’m not going to tell you now.”

“Fine,” Jinnie turned away, throwing another chunk of bread into the water. Watching the ducks chase it again. Feeling the sudden silence pull the air suffocatingly thin. Desperately trying to fill it like a breath in her lungs. Saying the first thing she could think of. “So,” she sighed. “You’re into girls?” And as soon as she said it, she was biting down on her tongue. Unwilling to look back and see her face.

Marci huffed from behind her. “You’re really hung up on this, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not,” she said, knowing the weakness in her voice didn’t sound very convincing. “It’s just. I haven’t met a lesbian before.” 

“Sure,” Marci chuckled.

Jinnie dared to look back at her. Surprised when she didn’t look offended. Just that same playful mocking that seemed to come natural to her.

“I’m sure you’ve met plenty. Whether you know it or not.” She flicked her eyebrows up. “Who knows? Maybe you’re one of them.”

Jinnie’s brows turned downward. “I am not.” 

Marci leaned forward, expression going more lively, electric in the low light. “How do you know?” 

Jinnie wanted to back away but there was nowhere to go. The hood of the car was only so big. She glared, “My only ever boyfriend of six years was unequivocally male.”

Marci held the blunt out between her fingers. “And how did that turn out?”

Jinnie’s mouth flattened into a thin line. She took it, turning back towards the lake to take another hit.

“Plus,” Marci said. “Like that’s really proof.”

“I think I’d know if I was a lesbian.” 

Marci scooched closer, so close that the side of her body was pressed up against Jinnie’s. Their bare knees knocking. “So you’re telling me that you never thought about what it would be like to kiss a girl?” she placed a hand on Jinnie’s bare knee, soft, long fingers splayed and bearing down lightly enough to dimple the skin. “Never considered what she looked like underneath her pretty clothes? Or how her skin would be so soft? Or her voice so pretty when she-” 

Jinnie felt the air around them go too warm for spring again, more like a valley summer. “Stop,” she said, brushing Marci’s hand away. She handed back the blunt.

Marci sighed, sitting back and laying against the windshield. “I can’t relate,” she said, taking a long drag.

Jinnie sat for a moment, pitching the last bits of bread into the lake. Noticing the way the ducks looked up at her and saw her bare hands. Growing disinterested and swimming away. She sighed.

Jinnie scooched up the hood, laying down alongside Marci and looking up at the sky. Grey and starless from the light pollution of the valley. Hazy like the filter of herbal smoke hanging in the air between them. And something about it felt so close and heavy on her that she felt hidden beneath it. Her tongue loosening in her mouth. “There was a teacher I had in sixth grade,” she started, not drawing her eyes away from the sky. “She taught my literature class. She was so nice. And smart. And she always smiled whenever she saw me. And that made me smile too. And she had this long pretty hair. It was so shiny and it used to flip when she’d turn towards the board. I remember wondering how it might feel. You know. To touch it.”

It was silent for a minute. So silent that Jinnie felt the sharp pang of regret. Like maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Ready to bite her tongue again. She hesitantly looked over to gauge Marci’s reaction, but was just met with her wide smirk.

“Damn,” the girl laughed. “You skipped the cheerleader and went right for the teacher, huh?”

And something about it, the way that Marci’s laugh immediately quelled the regret, had Jinnie unable to fight the contagiousness of the girl’s smile, feeling it infect her and pull at the corners of her mouth. She covered her face with her hands, voice muffled when she whined. “Why did I say that? Fuck.”

“Stop,” Marci pulled at her hands, holding them tightly. “It’s cute. You’re cute. Cute when you’re high.”

Jinnie looked at her, feeling their palms brush. “I’m not high,” she lied. “I don’t even feel anything.”

“Oh, yeah?” Marci said. “Here.” She reached over, hand going to cradle Jinnie’s neck and draw her closer.

“What are you doing?” Jinnie said, trying to pull away.

Marci smiled, eyes focused on her mouth. “Just let me try something.”

And Jinnie’s head gave a careless spin, letting Marci’s hand draw her so close. Until every little detail in the girl’s face was in vivid focus. The tan of her skin and the sparkle of her dark eyes and the perfect curve of her nose and the plushness of her mouth. Overwhelming at this proximity. 

Marci smiled, flashing those brilliant white teeth in the moonlight. “Breathe it in, okay?” She held the blunt up to her lips, taking a slow drag. She pulled it away, letting her lips make a cute little O as she exhaled a sharp stream.

Jinnie inhaled it in. Feeling it cloud her mind, her thoughts. Feeling Marci’s hand squeeze a little tighter at the nape of her neck. She leaned in just a little more.

Marci let the breath die, replacing it with a smile. “Feeling it yet?” she whispered.

Jinnie was distracted, eyes still hyper-focused on every little detail. “You don’t wear any makeup,” she breathed.

Marci shook her head. “I don’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“It ain’t me.” 

Jinnie sighed. “That must be so freeing,” she said, absentmindedly tucking a hair behind Marci’s ear.

The girl smiled, “What must be freeing?”

“To just… be you.”

Marci laughed softly. 

And Jinnie could smell the sweet weed on her breath. Wondering if there was any pink lemonade left to taste.

Marci licked her lips, her hand melting down Jinnie’s neck. “I made a promise to myself years ago that I wouldn’t hide. That I’d love myself and be authentic to myself.” 

“What’s that like?” 

“I recommend it,” she whispered. Her hand falling away into her lap. 

Jinnie felt a little colder without it on her. Her gaze panning down to rest at the girl’s lips. “Can I try?” 

Marci’s eyes went a little wider. “Try what?” 

“Makeup,” Jinnie said. “Can I put makeup on you?” 

Marci laughed again, something soft in it. She shrugged, “If you really want to.” 

They sat up on the hood, both of them criss-crossing their legs and sitting knees-to-knees as Jinnie reached for her clutch. She pulled out her lipstick, uncapping it and twisting it up. The end still dull from where Marci had drawn X’s on Jaebeom’s car. 

Jinnie leaned forward, aiming it for Marci’s lips but the girl leaned over as she twisted out the end of her blunt against the fender of the Jeep. “Sit still,” Jinnie giggled, grabbing the girl’s chin and holding her firm. Marci’s eyes went wide as she started to graze the end of the lipstick against her skin, leaving the perfect red trail against her fat lower lip. “Pretty, pouty lips,” she murmured, unconsciously. “So, so pretty.” 

Marci’s smile grew.

“Don’t smile,” Jinnie said, tugging her chin down a little further. “Let me finish.”

The girl’s smile quelled as she sat still, patiently letting Jinnie apply it, looking into her eyes.

“There,” Jinnie dropped her hands, recapping the lipstick. She sifted through her clutch, pulling out a compact. “Take a look.”

Marci examined herself in the mirror from different angles, pouting her lips out. “Nah,” she shook her head, slamming the compact shut and handing it back. “It’s prettier on you.” 

Jinnie laughed, “Oh, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Prove it.” 

Marci reached out, her hand returning up the back of Jinnie’s neck like it already knew the path.

And Jinnie went so weak at the touch, feeling those long, warm fingers tightening against her nape. Something about it making her go slack. Letting herself be dragged in as Marci’s mouth met hers.

Jinnie hadn’t considered what it would be like to kiss Marci. But if she had, this is exactly how she would have imagined it. Soft, so soft. Her mouth so light, like the traces of smoke they were holding in their lungs. And Jinnie’s head went quiet, everything feeling like it was existing on some plane she’d never even been aware of. And when Marci pulled away, Jinnie’s eyes stayed closed for a moment longer. Feeling the breeze against her face and immediately missing the warmth of Marci’s skin near hers. She exhaled, stuttered and slow as she opened her eyes. “Okay,” she breathed. “Maybe I'm feeling it now.”

Marci’s hand went to her chin, lifting it up. Examining how the lipstick had transferred to Jinnie’s mouth. “There,” she whispered. “Beautiful.”

And when she drew her hands away from her chin, Jinnie leaned forward a little, wanting to chase it. But she held herself back. Watching as Marci relaxed against the windshield like nothing had even happened. Closing her eyes and sliding her hands behind her head.

Jinnie watched her. The tattoo peeking from under her sleeve. The carefree smirk against her mouth, now even more apparent with the shadow of red against it. The glow of her tan skin, slim legs, blonde hair. And even if the years of submission had made Jinnie doubt nearly everything she felt, she’d never been so sure that she’d stumbled upon some kind of rare breed of human. The kind a skeptic like her would wait their whole life to catch a glimpse of. A girl who could manipulate the space she filled. Turning even the coldest, most hopeless places, people into an LA summer. 

“You’re staring,” Marci smiled, eyes still closed.

“Sorry,” Jinnie rushed to say. “I’m doing that checking out thing again. Maybe the weed-”

“Jinx. It’s fine,” Marci laughed. “I’m more interested in what you’re thinking.”

Her thoughts, typically jumbled and doubtful, felt like a straight line. Pointing in a singular direction. Like she was standing at the edge of that metaphorical skatepark bowl. Not knowing if the risk of falling was worth the chance at flying. She felt the nerves crawl up her throat. “Can I-,” she bit her lips. “Could we try that one more time?”

Marci looked over, her smirk widening. “Why?”

Jinnie didn’t know how to answer. She gulped. “I'm just... testing something,” she said, voice small.

The question was in Marci’s eyes before she even said it. “You sure?”

And Jinnie took a deep breath in. She nodded.

Marci took her hands from behind her head, leaning up to grab Jinnie’s. “Come here,” she said, dragging her closer. She lay back against the windshield, putting Jinnie’s hands against the glass on either side of her. Brushing her hair back behind her shoulders.

Jinnie’s arms locked up as she braced herself over Marci. Feeling her pounding heart making a home in the hollow of her throat, making it hard to breathe.

And maybe Marci heard it because she reached up, swiping a thumb against her cheek. Not far off from the way she’d wiped her tears. She smiled, softly. “Easy. Okay?”

Jinnie drew in a slow breath, much like that hit she’d taken from the blunt. “Easy,” she breathed. Letting her eyes fix on Marci’s red-tinted mouth, like an easy target. She eased down, tilting her head and feeling the heat from the girl’s skin get stronger and stronger. And if there had been any lingering doubt, the weight of her curiosity, like some undiscovered form of gravity, was too strong to pull her back now. So she gave in, grazing their lips together. 

It was just as soft as the last one, albeit not as light with that curious weight drawing her down further. Their lips fitting together in a unique way that Jinnie hadn’t felt before. Realising latently that she’d never kissed someone with such full, soft lips, nevermind that Marci was a girl.

She felt Marci’s hands come up around her waist, pulling her down further until their bodies flushed. Jinnie’s hips slotting between Marci’s open legs. Something about it feeling inexplicably intimate. Though different as well, until she realized that it was Marci’s body that felt different. Not blunt and bulky. Not a collection of heavy straight lines. But petite and slender. Curving just where it needed to. Nothing between her legs to insinuate where a kiss could lead. In fact, maybe that’s what Jinnie liked most. That it wasn’t an inevitable start to an end, but something beautiful within itself.

Marci’s mouth fell open when she drew in a breath. And Jinnie must have still been feeling that weed for her to so shamelessly try to slip her tongue across Marci’s lower lip. Feeling the fat curve of it before she pulled it into her mouth. 

The lip stretched wide as Marci smiled and leaned up. Capturing Jinnie’s mouth again and opening up the kiss, sliding their tongues together in a way that didn’t feel forceful. But pleasant, sweet. Just as sweet as that lingering taste of herbal smoke, the pink lemonade that hid somewhere under that. Sweet and tart and much better than the blue raspberry.

And Jinnie was feeling caught up in the details of it, craning her head to kiss her deeper when Marci pulled away. 

“It’s getting late,” she whispered. “We should probably be getting Princess Jinx home before it gets too late,” she let her head fall back against the windshield. “Wouldn’t want my Jeep turning into a pumpkin.”

And Jinnie stared down at her, wondering if that was really it. If that’s where this was meant to end. And there was something in her that sunk. Cause she hadn’t been ready for it to. She had more curiosities to address, more risks to take. More to show, more to learn. She licked her lips, still tasting Marci on them. But wanting the flavor straight from the source. “Okay,” she said, trying to keep the disappointment from her tone.

Jinnie crawled off of her, grabbing her clutch and jumping from the hood, onto the soles of those borrowed Vans. She watched Marci follow, crumpling the blanket before casting it in the back of the Jeep.

“Get in,” Marci beckoned to the car, opening the driver’s side door and sliding across the seat.

Jinnie complied, slower. Still trying to quell that desire for more. But it wouldn’t surrender as easily as it had in the past.

She sat with her hands folding in her lap. “Marci?”

“Yes,” the girl said, reaching for her seatbelt. Not meeting her gaze.

Jinnie sighed, psyching herself up. She looked over at her. “I don’t want to go home.”

Marci stopped for a moment. Staring back at her. Before resuming, clicking her seatbelt into the buckle and reaching up to adjust her mirror. “Where do you want to go?” she said, offhanded. “I’ll take you there.”

Jinnie sat there. Stewing in her thoughts. Waiting to come to her senses. To put away that kiss on the hood. Close it like a book that she knew she shouldn’t read. But the start had grabbed her. And she didn’t want to put it down. She couldn’t.

Marci looked up at her. Seeing something on her face. “What is it?”

Jinnie’s head went quiet. Still. In the way only Marci seemed to be able to bring on.

“Jinx,” Marci whispered. She reached out, hand sliding up to cradle her cheek. “Tell me.”

“How does…” she stopped, thinking. “So, you sleep with girls, right?”

Marci paused. Her mouth pulling up at the corners, until the smile she wore was wide, vibrant. “Yeah,” she nodded.

And just the sight of her smile had Jinnie casting her eyes down to the floor of the passenger seat. “So. I mean. Hypothetically,” she started, shifting one of her heels around with the tip of her sneaker. “How does it work?”

“How does what work?”

“Sex,” Jinnie said. “With girls.” She looked up at her, almost hating the cocky smile across her face. Almost. “I guess,” she swept her hair over one shoulder. “I don’t really get it.” 

Marci huffed. “What don’t you get?”

“I mean, what do you do?” she shrugged.

Marci licked her smirking lips, “Everything you and your boyfriend do but a hundred times better.”

Jinnie felt the flush return to her cheeks, fighting through it like it was becoming a common obstacle. “But… you don’t have a …”

“Jinxie,” Marci groaned, rolling her eyes. “Baby.”

Jinnie slapped the girl’s shoulder. “Don’t call me that. That’s not my name.”

“And yet,” Marci leaned closer. “You still blush every time I say it.” 

Jinnie stared back, not willing to admit it.

Marci sat back in her chair, leaning an arm against the steering wheel. “Where are you going with this?”

Jinnie took a deep breath. “You know earlier. When we kissed.”

“You mean like three minutes ago?” Marci’s eyebrows drew up. 

“Yeah.”

“I remember it fondly,” she nodded.

“And I said it was a test,” Jinnie murmured, looking down into her lap.

“Mhmm,” Marci hummed. “What exactly were you testing?”

Jinnie licked her lips. “Confidential.”

Marci huffed. “Okay,” she unbuckled her seatbelt, turning to face her. “I’m listening.”

“Well,” Jinnie watched her. “Maybe we could do another test?”

Marci’s eyes lit up, so much brighter than the hazy sky that blanketed any hope of stars. “Is that what you want?”

Jinnie gulped. She nodded slowly.

Marci beckoned to the backseat. “Do you want to step into my laboratory?”

Jinnie felt the flutter of her nerves. She got up, pushing herself into the backseat. She sat, looking up at Marci still in the driver’s seat. “Are you coming?”

Marci smiled, “Yeah.” She maneuvered herself back, sitting next to her.

The night air suddenly felt so loud as it stretched between them. Crickets chirping and the street lights buzzing and the distant highways humming.

“So,” Marci turned toward her. “What’s this test consist of?”

“Just,” Jinnie pressed her lips together. Trying to fight through the awkwardness. “You know. Show me what you would do if you were with a girl.”

“I am with a girl,” Marci smiled, her hand coming up to Jinnie’s knee. “A really pretty one.”

Jinnie’s head short-circuited again, not brushing her fingers away this time. “It’s,” she breathed. “It’s just a test.”

“Sure,” Marci whispered, leaning in closer. “Whatever you say, Jinx.”

Marci kissed her and maybe it was a little different this time. Because she wasn’t under her. And she could be a bit more forceful in the way she bit down on Jinnie’s lips. The way that hand on her knee ghosted up her leg, dragging up her hemline a little before continuing upwards. Finding the curve of her waist and drawing her closer.

Jinnie gave a little surprised squeak when their bodies met again, knees brushing together. And she felt Marci’s hand trail up a little higher, fingers grazing against the center of her chest. And Jinnie passively wondered if Marci could feel the race of her heart underneath.

Marci’s mouth felt languid, warm and wet, as those fingers at Jinnie’s chest dipped a little lower, tucking under the edge of her dress and dragging downward.

Jinnie gasped, feeling the instinct to pull away but something about the tenderness of Marci’s touch was too good. And so she just stuttered for breath as the edge of the bustline pulled lower and lower. The strap of her white dress sliding down her shoulder as her chest fell open.

Marci hummed against her mouth. “I knew you weren’t wearing a bra.”

Jinnie felt her breath hitch as Marci’s hand followed the swell of her breast, cupping down on it. Kissing her more hungrily.

Marci’s fingers grazed against her nipple, feeling it stiffen under her touch.

Jinnie’s lungs caved at the simple feeling, breath shuddering against her lips.

Marci took the nipple between her knuckles, working it gently. Variations of pressure, of stroking it. Thumb grazing over the tip. 

And Jinnie didn’t know this could feel so good. Because even when Jaebeom had played with her chest, he’d always gripped them so tightly, squeezed them until they hurt. Not like this. Never like this.

Marci pulled away from her mouth, keeping her face close as she brought her fingers up to her mouth. She licked at the pad of one, returning it to swirl softly against Jinnie’s nipple.

Jinnie’s brows drew together, a whimper falling from her mouth. Was she always this sensitive?

Marci’s hand went back to the center of her chest, pushing lightly. Coaxing her to lay back against the sun-worn grey leather.

Jinnie complied, drawing in a breath when Marci crawled over her.

Marci leaned her mouth down, lips pursed when she kissed at Jinnie’s sternum. Her kiss so warm and soft. Dragging slowly over the skin as she made her way back to that nipple. She brushed her nose against it, breath so warm, before her tongue curled up under it.

Jinnie hissed, fighting the urge to arch up into her.

Marci’s tongue drew it into her mouth, lips enveloping it. Sucking it gently.

Jinnie felt dizzy. Wondering if it was that vodka or that weed or just Marci herself.

And as Marci’s lips and tongue swirled around her nipple, the girl grabbed her hand. Dragging it slowly up her t-shirt and setting it against the petite curve of her sports bra. As if giving Jinnie the suggestion.

And Jinnie took it, looking down at Marci’s mouth on her as she experimentally squeezed. Feeling the way the flesh gave way. No bone or taught muscle, just cushy warmth.

Marci’s tongue flicked against her, causing her to whimper, back arching a little. Her hand pushing up the elastic of the bra and cupping her hand over her breast. First just one and then the other. Bearing down on them, fingers stroking over her small nipples.

Marci looked up at her, mouth hovering. “What do they feel like?”

Jinnie’s mouth fell open, as if her brain might try to answer with a moan. But she held it back, finding her words instead. “Soft,” she breathed out.

Marci smiled wide, leaning back up to kiss her again. Leaning into her as Jinnie’s hands worked up under her shirt. The girl put both hands onto Jinnie’s thighs, slowly pushing up her dress. Further and further until she was pulling away. Both of them looking down and seeing the hemline of Jinnie’s dress sitting on her lower stomach. Her pristine white cotton undies on full display. 

Jinnie hadn’t clocked the publicness of their setting until this moment. Until she felt the slight chill of the breeze running over her body, making her shiver. And she was suddenly wondering if she should pull that hemline down. Wondering if anyone was around. If anyone could see them from where they were in the Jeep’s open backseat.

But Jinnie’s thoughts went quiet again when Marci’s hand trailed up, fingertips smooth against the inside of her thigh. Her knuckle meeting the white cotton. 

Jinnie shuddered, feeling Marci’s knuckle pressing just enough to feel the undeniable wetness that was soaking through between their skin. 

Jinnie ached, her grasp on Marci’s chest going soft until her hands were falling away. Too focused on watching.

Marci watched too, smiling as her fingers deftly tugged at the side of her panties, a single finger reaching out. And the way it didn’t even meet her skin first, but instead the thick coat of wetness that slipped under her touch. That single finger spreading it lightly up her as she caressed at Jinnie’s folds. Dragging small, slick circles up until she was circling her clit.

Jinnie’s hips slipped further across the seat, instinctively working down closer to Marci’s coated finger.

Marci eased it further down again. All of that wetness easing the slide of the finger inside Jinnie’s pussy. Firmly working into her.

And realistically, Jinnie had Jaebeom’s fingers inside of her countless times over the years, whether she was asking for them or just tolerating them. But they never felt this good. They never twisted in her so diligently. As if Marci was perfectly in tune with her body and delivering exactly what she was unknowingly asking for.

Marci slid another in, still so slick. The slide of them easy and fluid as Jinnie felt her walls bare down on them. The girl pulled them out of her, just to circle her clit again with torturously slow motions.

Marci leaned down, her head slotting into the hollow space at Jinnie’s neck. “How's it feel?” she whispered, kissing the skin there.

Jinnie didn’t know how to sum it up into words. “Good,” she choked out, body trembling.

Marci smiled, teasing at her clit for a few more moments before dipping back inside her. Her mouth working up her neck, teeth reaching out to nibble at her ear lobe.

Jinnie hissed, hips rocking up. “Stop,” she whined.

Marci’s fingers massaged at her. Her tongue grazing up the shell of her ear. Her breath so hot when she chuckled. “Stop what?”

Jinnie was melting, forgetting what she even had thought. Remembering, forgetting again. Remembering. “Ears,” she panted. “Don’t.”

Marci took Jinnie’s ear between her lips, sucking gently down before pulling off. “These ears?”

Jinnie was turning her head away, craning her neck, trying to get closer. “Mhmm,” she whimpered.

Marci huffed again, hot breath and hot tongue teasing at it. “I knew they’d be sensitive.”

Jinnie shivered, hips maneuvering down onto her fingers again.

Marci smiled again, relinquishing her ear and kissing her neck again. Trailing down her chest. Kissing her torso beneath the white fabric pulled around it. Further and further down until she was landing a kiss on Jinnie’s inner thigh.

Jinnie gasped, instinctively reaching out to stop her. “What are you doing?” she asked, voice frenzied.

Marci looked up at her. A little incredulous. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“No, you can’t-” Jinnie shook her head, backpedaling away from her.

“Why not?”

She struggled to say the words. “He… never… did that.” 

Marci’s face twisted up. “What?” 

“My ex,” Jinnie gulped. Wincing as she said the words. “He was kinda squeamish about that kind of stuff.”

Marci’s eyes were wide, her mouth agape. “How many years did you date this guy?” 

“Six years.” 

“For fuck’s sake, Jinx,” Marci groaned.

Jinnie felt her ears burn. Her chest drawing up with a breath. “Don’t call me that.” 

Marci’s expression stilled, eyes lighting up. “Why?” she smirked, biting down on her full lip. “Does it get you wet?” She reached her shiny fingers back toward her, caressing her clit again. 

“No,” she said, not pulling away from her. 

“Really?” Marci licked her lips, making them just as shiny as her fingers. Trailing her hand down and plunging back into her dripping cunt. “Cause something sure is.”

“Marci,” Jinnie’s eyes fell close, sinking into the seat again.

“What?” the girl laughed, warm and soft. “Maybe I have a test too?”

Jinnie looked down at her, watching her fingers work in and out of her. Watching the way Marci was staring at the sight. Like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen. Jinnie tried to find her voice. “What kind of test?”

Marci looked up, eyes so bright they felt like headlights that Jinnie was trapped in. “To see if you taste as good as you smell.”

“Marci,” Jinnie repeated, weaker this time.

“Is that a yes?”

Her mind gave out, much like her body on the seat. She bit down on her lip. She nodded.

Marci smiled, pulling her fingers out. Both of her hands reaching up Jinnie’s thighs until they hooked into the sides of her panties, dragging them down her legs. Casting them off onto the floor of the Jeep. 

“Do you know how hard it is to not lick my fingers right now?” Marci hummed. “How hard it is to be patient with you?”

Jinnie felt her body give a wanton ache, sending a straight line down between her legs.

“And this ass?” Marci reached both hands out, cupping underneath her cheeks and dragging her closer. Fingers splaying and gripping down. “Do you know how it’s been taunting me since I watched you smash that car?”

Jinnie shivered. “Cee, baby,” she smirked. “Don’t play with your food.”

Marci looked up, eyes twice as wide. “Cee?”

Jinnie looked down, licking her lips again. “It's a nickname. I’m trying it out.”

Marci’s smile grew. “I like it.”

Jinnie’s hand came up under her chin. “Good.”

Marci’s eyes pulled away when her face did, lowering down between Jinnie’s legs, breath ghosting over every little sensitive spot on her thighs. Upwards. Getting closer to exactly where Jinnie needed her to be. Needed something to be. Because all she could feel was the cool night breeze against her wet, swollen cunt. And she wanted Marci’s warmth to cover it more than anything.

Marci finally hovered over her clit, breath so hot it made Jinnie feel feverish.

She watched, mouth falling open as Marci placed a kiss there. Delicate and soft. Her lips pulling away, twice as shiny as they were before. Jinnie whined, spreading her legs wider. Not caring about how exposed she was in that park anymore.

Marci’s tongue peeked out. She ran it in a straight line up her folds.

Jinnie felt it like a bolt of electricity up her spine. “Fuck,” she choked out.

Marci’s smile grew, pressing the flat of her tongue up against Jinnie’s clit. Licking her slowly like she was savoring it. She pulled off, ducking her head a little lower and letting that tongue fuck into Jinnie’s pussy. Sucking at her and humming until she could feel the vibration of it against her.

Marci pulled away, looking down at her and grabbing her knee. She pushed it up with one hand as the other returned to her cunt, sliding her fingers back in easily. Curling up as they fucked into her. Allowing her to dive back down and give full attention to teasing her clit with her tongue. Soft and slow. So much so that every little movement felt a hundred times stronger than anything Jinnie had ever felt. Like every nerve was paying close attention. Amplifying the sensation through her whole body.

Jinnie’s eyes fluttered shut, unable to take the sight of her paired with the sensation. Feeling the persistency of her tongue and her fingers. The way she pulled away just to drag the curve of her nose up it, like the angle was made exactly for that. Her mouth sucking softly as her fingers thrust all the way down to her knuckles.

And Jinnie was trying to hold on, but fuck, it was all so much. And it made her think distantly that she’d been missing out on this the whole time. But knowing that this wasn’t this without Marci’s adept hands and mouth. Her warmth and brightness. Her openness and boldness. And in that way, Jinnie couldn’t help but be glad this was with her and no one else.

Jinnie didn’t notice she’d been whimpering on every exhale. Not until Marci’s tongue brushed a little more eagerly, her fingers twisted, growing fierce in response to Jinnie’s mewlings.

And Jinnie could feel the way she throbbed, pulse heightening in places she didn’t even know they were supposed to. The vicious way her body took over. Tightening down on those fingers even harder.

“Marci,” Jinnie moaned. “Fuckfuckfuck,” her voice pitched higher as she tensed, trembling and caving around Marci as she started to cum.

And even as it happened, Marci didn’t stop. She kept going, fingers more insistent and tongue pressing a little firmer against her as it swiped up her folds.

Jinnie’s hips kicked up into her face, gasping and quivering. She moaned, hand reaching up to push Marci’s face away. “Stopstopstop,” she breathed. “Too much.”

Marci’s chin was wet in the low light. Mouth smiling wide as she withdrew her fingers. Reaching down and finding Jinnie’s white panties on the floor. She dragged them across her mouth, cleaning it off.

Jinnie just stared up at her, breathing heavy and mesmerized by the sight of her. A post-climax bliss taking hold as she reached for her t-shirt, pulling her down and kissing her again. 

Marci didn’t hesitate to clumsily fall down over her, kissing her back.

Jinnie smelled herself on Marci’s full mouth, thinking the two went together better than she expected. Experimentally licking into her mouth, not minding the taste either. Kissing her a little more aggressively and feeling the way Marci seemed to enjoy it. She pulled away, smiling.

Marci stared down at her, sharing that smile. Something particularly dreamy in it. Something that hadn’t been there before.

“What?” Jinnie asked, hand coming up to tuck her blonde hair behind her ear “What are you thinking?”

Marci’s mouth fell open but the words didn’t come. She stuttered. “Just-” she licked her lips. “I-”

A phone dinged in the front seat. Both of them turning their heads towards it.

“Shit,” Marci hissed. “What time is it?” She rushed to grab her phone from the center console, checking the screen. “Fuck.”

Jinnie sat up in a panic, pulling her dress up to cover her chest. “What?”

Marci sighed. “We gotta go. Come on.” She started scrambling back into the driver’s seat. 

Jinnie’s brows furrowed as she pulled her dress down her thighs. “Go where?” she asked, wobbling into the passenger seat on considerably shakier legs.

“There’s a swell. The kind that don’t come along very often,” Marci said, putting on her seatbelt and starting the engine. “And we gotta make it.”

\---

Jinnie sat on the beach, the Mexican blanket stretched out beneath her. She was sitting back on her hands, looking out at the horizon. The blurred line where the water met the sky was a dark navy, grey clouds hiding the clear distinction. And as her eyes traveled upwards, the sky marbled. Shifting into shades of lighter blue, before melting into mauvish purples and pinks, before electric stripes of orange. Arcing over Jinnie’s head and ending somewhere behind her where the sun was still yet to rise.

The light from the east was lighting up the curled, foamy waves, reflecting that smallest hint of neon orange. Marci’s shortboard cutting down the lip, leaving a spray of water in her wake as she powered across its face. Her black wetsuit and her neon pink board easy to spot against the turquoise waves.

And Jinnie’s eyes stayed fixed on her, watching her carve out her place in those waves. Admiring the fluid way she made it look easy. Flipping her blonde hair over her head and watching the saltwater flip with it.

And as the light a new day rose slowly behind her, Jinnie wondered if the sun would even recognize her today. Because she wasn’t the same girl, living the same life she had been when it set last night. Now, she was a girl who smashed her cheating ex’s car. A girl who got drunk and high. A girl who hooked up with some girl in the back of her Jeep. It all just seemed so uncharacteristically Jinnie. So unlike her.

But Marci’s words played back in her head.

_Maybe it was just a you that you haven’t met yet._

And then again, Marci wasn’t just some girl. She was _the_ girl. The only one of her kind that Jinnie had ever met. The only one who she could tell her darkest secrets. Or who would encourage her to stand up for herself. Or who she could rely on to take care of her when she wasn’t sober. Or give parts of her body to without regret. And the only one who she’d want to sit on this beach for. Watching her carve through the surface of those waves and feeling similarly carved, albeit somewhere deeper.

Jinnie heard a voice call out, “Hey, pretty girl!”

She looked to her side, seeing a group of surfer boys walking up the beach. Their boards in tow as they looked to Jinnie. One of them speaking up, “What brings you here this morning?”

Jinnie’s mouth fell open, rushing to words. “Oh, I-”

“Did you come to watch the boys surf the swell?” Another one of the boys licked at his teeth, raising his brows.

Jinnie blinked back at them. “No,” she shook her head. “I-” she hesitated for a moment. Looking out to the water and seeing Marci paddling in towards the shore. “Actually,” Jinnie beckoned towards the waves. “I’m with her.”

The boys looked over, their faces drawing tight in question. “Marci?”

“Yeah,” Jinnie smiled.

“Damn, okay,” they scoffed. “We won’t bother you two.” And they started walking out towards the water, huddling close to whisper.

And maybe if it had been before last night, Jinnie would have panicked at the idea of those boys whispering about her. But right now, with Marci jogging up the sand at her, she couldn’t care less.

Marci dropped her board in the sand, coming up to the edge of the blanket and falling onto her hands and knees, crawling up to cover Jinnie’s body with her own. Dripping cold salty water all over her.

“Cee!” Jinnie squealed.

“Yes?”

“You’re getting me all wet!” she pushed at her shoulders, feeling her blonde hair and her wet suit soak her hands, dripping down onto her skin.

Marci laughed, not budging. “You want to talk about wet, you should-” she paused, beaming at her. “You know what? You’re right. I’ll stop.” She leaned up, reaching behind her to unzip her wet suit and peeling it back off her body until it hung around her waist. She crawled back up into Jinnie’s lap, laying her head down against her thighs.

Jinnie smiled, letting her hand smooth over her salty blonde hair. Already seeing the way the strands were twisting together into messy waves. “You looked good out there.”

Marci looked up at her, eyes bright. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she nodded.

Marci licked her lips. “You looked good up here.”

Jinnie’s lips pulled even wider.

Marci sat up, scooching close to her. Her hand coming up and laying against Jinnie’s chest. Long, slender fingers carefully grazing the skin. She looked up at her. “How’s your broken heart?”

Jinnie felt her innate warmth overpowering the cool water on her skin. She shook her head, “I’m not so sure it was broken to start with.”

Marci smiled. Leaning in a little closer, whispering, “I don’t think so either.” And she kissed her softly, hand sweeping up her neck, her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear.

And Jinnie’s mind went so wonderfully quiet. That she could actually hear herself think. Not the echoed voices of others but herself. Thinking that this was the best night she’d ever had. And though it was over, though she knew what was coming, she knew she could live with this ending.

Marci pulled away, eyes glancing down at her mouth. “You should probably be heading home.”

Jinnie sighed, feeling the girl’s fingers withdraw from her skin. “I probably should,” she agreed.

Marci got up, grabbing her board under her arm before turning back towards Jinnie. “Come on,” she said, extending her hand. A soft smile on her face. “One last drive, huh?”

Jinnie saw the glow of the sunrise on her sharp features, just as warm as she felt. And she smiled, reaching up and taking her hand.

\---

Marci pulled up to Jinnie’s parents’ house, parking on the other side of the road and cutting the engine.

Jinnie was staring up at the house, mouth feeling a little dry.

Marci must have seen the anxiety creasing between her brows. She reached her hand out, touching her knee. Her voice soft, empathetic. “Are you scared to go in there?” 

Jinnie took a deep breath. “Yeah,” she sighed. “But it can’t be worse than the past six years have been, right?” she shrugged, a trying smile pulling when she looked to Marci.

The girl was mirroring the same smile. Averting her eyes for a long moment as she drew in a breath. “Do me a favor,” she said, fingers gripping down a little firmer to hold her attention. “Don’t take shit from them. Not anymore.”

Jinnie stared at her, hearing the sincerity of her voice. “I’ll try not to,” she said, meaning it.

Marci stared, too. Looking like she might have something more to say before she bit her lips. “Come on,” she beckoned, drawing her hand away and unbuckling her seatbelt.

Jinnie got out, coming around to the other side of the car with her heels and clutch in one hand. Watching the way Marci leaned up against the door. Her blonde hair still wet with salt water and her t-shirt askew on her shoulders. “Thanks for everything,” she said softly, covering her squinted eyes with one hand to keep the dawn sun out of them.

Marci nodded, “It was my pleasure.”

Jinnie felt the silence stretch out, neither of them knowing what to say. “Oh. Here,” she rushed, kicking off one of the baby blue Vans with her left foot. “These are yours.”

Marci looked down. “No, wait,” she stopped her. She kicked off her left pink Van, her bare foot maneuvering the baby blue one closer and sliding her foot into it. “Take those ones,” she beckoned to the other mismatched pair. “Consider them a gift.”

Jinnie smiled, sliding her foot into the sneaker and admiring the odd matching of the pink and blue together. “Thanks,” she looked up.

“Mhm,” Marci hummed, mouth a thin, tight line.

“Well,” Jinnie sighed. “Drive safe.”

Marci nodded, waving. “Yeah. Good luck.”

Jinnie turned, crossing the street and starting up the path towards her house. Looking down at the Vans on her feet as they tiptoed against the concrete. And she was nearly to the door when she stopped, staring down at the pink and the blue. 

She turned back and Marci was still there, leaning up against that red Jeep. The golden dawn sun pouring over her tight face. Holding something in her expression that Jinnie couldn’t explain, but she felt it all the same. 

She dropped her clutch, her heels, as she started to run back towards the Jeep. Back down the concrete path and across the street. Jumping up and feeling Marci’s arm wrap around her waist, catching her.

Jinnie’s hands went to her face, drawing her close and kissing her. Too many words in it to simply speak.

And Marci’s arms gripped tightly around her, kissing her back with just as much to say.

Jinnie pulled away, leaning her forehead up against Marci’s as she slid down her body, sneakers finding the asphalt again as she stood in front of her. Feeling the warmth of their smiles mirroring each other. The laugher just behind their teeth.

Jinnie smelled the mix of flavors on her warm breath. The pink lemonade and the weed and herself and the saltwater. She yearned for it. “You better fucking come back,” she lightly scoffed, shaking her head against Marci’s skin. She pulled away, looking at her face fully. Biting her smiling lips. “I better not be another straight Valley girl for your collection.” 

Marci was smiling so brightly. Her hands clutching tightly at her waist. “Then, maybe don’t be so straight, Jinxie?”

She laughed, leaning further into her, pressing her up against the car door. “Maybe I won’t, Cee.”

And their smiles met somewhere in the middle to kiss again. And it was soft and longing and aching for a beginning instead of an ending. 

Jinnie pulled away, taking a deep breath. “Plus,” she said. “You have to come back. Because I left something of mine in your Jeep.” And she took Marci’s hand, guiding it under the short hem of her dress, up the bare curve of her ass. Showing her where the white painties were still missing.

She watched Marci’s face bloom in realization, her hand gripping down onto her bare skin as she gritted her smiling teeth together in frustration. Her voice coming out so husky and dangerous when she spoke. “You know I’m sure there are other things in my Jeep you’d be interested in.”

Jinnie smiled. Kissing her once more. Light, chaste, before she pulled her body away. Backing up off her. “You’ll have to come back and see,” she tilted her head.

And Marci worked her tongue behind her teeth. Chest full with a breath. “I’ll come by tomorrow. Okay?”

Jinnie nodded, “You better.” She smiled as she turned back, skipping those Vans back up the path towards her house.


End file.
